what is it about ballet that scares me so much right now? now that i’ve moved into NY i find myself terrified of stepping foot in a studio…but it gets worse.
i don’t even let myself think about ballet anymore. my walls are plastered with gaynor minden posters and NYCB foldouts, but i won’t let myself try to find a studio. I just can’t face ballet right now. What’s stopping me?
Maybe it’s that i have such strong feelings associated with ballet and after doing poorly at one class at a new studio (i had never done a promenade or adagio before that class) i’m shutting myself away from it so that i don’t have to face failure at something i used to not put pressure on myself about. And also, it brings up a slew of emotions that i don’t want to deal with.
At my old studio, we only did barre, then basically slow across the floor exercises, then we did leaps and jumps across the floor. it was no pressure and i liked it that way. but then another studio placed a lot of importance on moves i’d never ever heard of and did adagio and some other stuff in between…i hated that. is that a difference in methods? should i be looking for vaganova and not cecchetti?
i hope i can find whatever the problem is inside me and start taking classes again soon. and blogging. i miss blogging. thanks for staying followers you guys.
Submitted by deadpetrocks: Mirror Mirror Mirror
I can’t look in the mirror. Honestly. I am seventeen and I have been dancing for three years. I recently graduated to pointe in November 2010 and I still cannot look at myself properly in the mirror. I can barely turn. It’s my greatest worry and I need help getting over it. Partially its because I still doubt myself as a dancer because I don’t ‘look’ like one. Also, I always fear that when I look into the mirror I’ll realize how ‘bad’ I may be.
Help. I may not be on the road to NYCB or Bolshoi but I do intend to dance and incorporate the art for the rest of my life.
I worry about looking in the mirror too. I don’t look like a dancer AT ALL. But i think you’ll be surprised when you look in the mirror because sure at first you might not like 99% of what you see, but the other 1% of the time you’ll look and be like “wow…that was beautiful. i can’t believe i did that!” and then you’ll mimick that next time, and then incorporate that into other parts of your dancing, and then you’ll like 2% of what you see, and then 3, 4, 5, 6 percent…and up until you’re comfortable critiquing yourself. It might never be perfect or easy, but you’ll be more confident just by seeing that sometimes you dance in a way that you like.
The best thing I’ve heard is something music teacher of mine said to me: “As we become more experienced and learn more about our art, we become less secure with ourselves and what we are doing. Our confidence in our abilities is supposed to go up as we learn, but most of the time it goes down because now that we know what to do to improve, we’re afraid we aren’t doing it right. Which just makes us worse. You have to trust yourself.” -Hakan Rosengren.
Try to trust yourself. Don’t worry about being the best in the class or looking ugly. Just put your whole heart into what you’re doing and let it feel natural, because even if you’re doing it wrong as long as you look natural or like you know what you’re doing nobody will criticize you. They might say “try doing this instead” but they won’t say, NO, that looked awful. Because loving dance always looks beautiful, and it always translates in motion.
I know you’re a great dancer. Work to better yourself without having expectations of yourself. And check back in.
Does anyone else have words of wisdom for this beautiful ballerina!?