what is it about ballet that scares me so much right now? now that i’ve moved into NY i find myself terrified of stepping foot in a studio…but it gets worse.
i don’t even let myself think about ballet anymore. my walls are plastered with gaynor minden posters and NYCB foldouts, but i won’t let myself try to find a studio. I just can’t face ballet right now. What’s stopping me?
Maybe it’s that i have such strong feelings associated with ballet and after doing poorly at one class at a new studio (i had never done a promenade or adagio before that class) i’m shutting myself away from it so that i don’t have to face failure at something i used to not put pressure on myself about. And also, it brings up a slew of emotions that i don’t want to deal with.
At my old studio, we only did barre, then basically slow across the floor exercises, then we did leaps and jumps across the floor. it was no pressure and i liked it that way. but then another studio placed a lot of importance on moves i’d never ever heard of and did adagio and some other stuff in between…i hated that. is that a difference in methods? should i be looking for vaganova and not cecchetti?
i hope i can find whatever the problem is inside me and start taking classes again soon. and blogging. i miss blogging. thanks for staying followers you guys.